Never argue with your ex in front of the children

Arguing with your ex-spouse in front of the children is like rearranging the deck chairs on the Titanic. It is pointless.

Do not ever argue with your ex in front of the children. It leaves mental scars on your children. Good single parents learn strategies on how to get along with the ex-spouse.

Say "No" to an argument.

At the children's exchange point, turn down to offer to argue. It takes two to argue. You can say, "I hear what you are saying. We will talk about this later." You agreed that you heard his concern. Do not talk about adult matters in front of the children. Do not lower yourself into name calling in front of your kids.

Ways to communicate with your ex.

Diary: Some single parents use a locked diary, which goes back and forth with the children. Baseball schedules, school events, and medicinal information go back and forth. Adult concerns about a child can also be expressed away from the eyes and hearing of a small child. Abusive messages can be copied and saved to show a Judge later.

Email: Email is another easy method of communication. No one has to be home or awake, to receive the message. Concerns can be expressed and responded to by an email. Abusive messages can be printed and saved for the Judge.

Telephone calls: It is best if everyone agrees that one telephone call is enough and that all telephone calls will be returned within a few hours. Everyone should know that coarse language, hang-ups, and repeated calls are abusive and will not be tolerated.

Abusive communications.

Consider giving your ex a separate ring on your cell phone. Consider sending your ex's call immediately to the answering machine after a certain hour in the evening. Consider getting a second telephone line for your cell phone for you, your friends, your family, and your family. Your ex has the old number and you will know when it rings who is calling. All other calls, with the new ringer, will be from your family and friends.

Criminal acts.

Stalking is a criminal act, and the police arrest stalkers. Making threats over the telephone, in Texas, is called a Terroristic Threat, and the police arrest those who make threats. There are also laws against harassing ex-spouses, ex-lovers, and ex-family members. If you are harassed, call your District Attorney about getting a Protective Order. Violators of protective orders are arrested like criminals.

Legally recorded telephone conversations.

Some states forbid recording telephone conversations. Texas allows recording telephone conversations under certain conditions. Talk to a lawyer about making legal phone recordings. Then get on the computer and go to Phone Recorder or Spyville and buy a device to record telephone conversations with your ex. There are also some Apps on Google that allow some cell phones to record calls. If your ex abuses you on the telephone, the recordings can be played for a Judge, who will hear how abusive your ex can be.  

The key is to take notes of bad behavior.

Take notes, make recordings, print emails, print texts, and copy diary writings. Get a big calendar and make notes on the specific date things happen. Be smart, take notes, and keep them in a big box. Your lawyer will love you and you will actually have something specific to tell the Judge.

Kindness.

Give emotions time to cool. Do your duty, as spelled out by a court. In addition, use a little kindness. Bring a bag of groceries when you pick up the children. Buy a tank of gas for your ex, on occasion. When you pick up your son or daughter, immediately take them to do something fun. Take your girl to buy a Barbie doll. Take your boy to eat a pizza. Go to a movie. Build a relationship.

Conclusion.

The rewards and advantages of remaining calm in the face of your ex are huge. You will save your children from sadistic behavior. The goal is not to argue with your spouse. The goal is to earn the love and respect of your children. Another goal is to guide your children towards having a good life. Keep your eye on the goals.