Some days the news is overwhelming to lawyers. A peek at the news today brought the following stories:
A dead 2 year old baby, with duct tape across her mouth, resulted in a murder case against her mother
(Casey Anthony). The defense said the baby accidently drowned and the body was hidden because of the grandfather’s sexual abuse. Defense by smear. A horrific murder made worse. http://www.orlandosentinel.com/news/local/caylee-anthony/os-casey-anthony-trial-opening-20110523,0,921967.story
An inspiring national political figure is about to be indicted for misspending campaign money to hide his cheating on his dying wife. Inspired leadership by corruption.
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/43168272
A powerful Federal Judge in Houston says that our legal system is corrupt beyond recognition. Edith Jones says the lawyers corrupted the judicial system with nihilism. Lawyers lost their religious roots. Lawyers attack all society’s rules of decent behaviour. A basic concept of right and wrong is lost. Political favor and money is found. http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/1438496/posts
The Texas Legislature continued its long war on lawyers by passing the “Loser Pays” bill. Although Visa, Master Card, Capital One Bank, and insurance companies will sue you, you do not have what it takes to sue them. Why is Texas protecting Capital One Bank? The law hurts lawyers who bring lawsuits and hurts lawyers who defend lawsuits. Simply stated, to be a hero, you have to have an amazing opponent to do battle with. The little guy lost his ability to fight the battle. http://www.lonestarreport.org/Home/tabid/38/EntryId/1174/In-blink-of-an-eye-Senate-passes-limited-loser-pays-bill.aspx
However, before I turned off the coffee maker and hid under my bed this morning, I remembered Wintley Phipps. He sings a great version of Amazing Grace. He also says that “if the big mountain in your way were smooth, you wouldn’t be able to climb it”. Yes, I did sign up to climb the big mountains. Yes, I did sign up to slay large dragons.
I began to remember that we will not understand the things we see. ( Ecclesiastes 11:5 “As you do not know the path of the wind, or how the body is formed in a mother’s womb, so you cannot understand the work of God, the Maker of all things.” )
I can do more mediation and be a peacemaker. “Peacemakers who sow in peace reap a harvest of righteousness.” - James 3:17-18
I can put on my trial suit and start to climb the big mountains in my way.
Wednesday, May 25, 2011
Friday, May 13, 2011
Separation, Divorce, and Separation
If you are separated, what should you do for your depressed spouse?
Great question! Because I am not a licensed forensic counselor, I called Beverly Womack, LCSW, LMFT, LCDC, ( a Certified Forensic Counselor by the American College of Forensic Counselors ), for some guidance. After 35 years of counseling separating and divorcing clients, she had several suggestions.
Suggestion 1: Understand that divorce is incredibly hard on children and is hard beyond belief on adults. I cannot say what her clients say to Beverly, but my clients tell me that a divorce changes everything, including deeply held convictions about their religion, their fundamental understanding of family values, their core beliefs, and that even the colors in the sky change. These changes are hard.
Suggestion 2: Understand that depression is an emotional response to the suffering in a separation and divorce. There are other stresses related to the separation or divorce. Many separations and divorces start with stresses from unpaid bills, a job loss, an accident or illness. Depression is not something a person asks for, or volunteers for, or earns. It is exponentially worse than any scary dream you have ever had. Without professional help, depression can be a continuing, living nightmare.
Suggestion 3: Get the depressed person to a licensed mental health worker. Within driving distance of your residence, there are licensed psychologists, licensed social workers and licensed counselors who can defeat depression. If medicines are needed, there are physicians with specialties in mental health, called psychiatrists, who may prescribe medicines for depression. You do not have to remember the names of these professionals to know the deal.
The deal is that depression can be defeated. You may not get much help from a doctor for your bad cold, but depression is highly treatable.
Additional resources beyond this blog, include:
WebMD.com for useful information,
Depression for Dummies (Wiley Publishing, Inc.)
look at http://www.womackcounseling.com,
you might talk to someone who actually knows about divorce and depression: Beverly Womack, 903-535-7290.
Great question! Because I am not a licensed forensic counselor, I called Beverly Womack, LCSW, LMFT, LCDC, ( a Certified Forensic Counselor by the American College of Forensic Counselors ), for some guidance. After 35 years of counseling separating and divorcing clients, she had several suggestions.
Suggestion 1: Understand that divorce is incredibly hard on children and is hard beyond belief on adults. I cannot say what her clients say to Beverly, but my clients tell me that a divorce changes everything, including deeply held convictions about their religion, their fundamental understanding of family values, their core beliefs, and that even the colors in the sky change. These changes are hard.
Suggestion 2: Understand that depression is an emotional response to the suffering in a separation and divorce. There are other stresses related to the separation or divorce. Many separations and divorces start with stresses from unpaid bills, a job loss, an accident or illness. Depression is not something a person asks for, or volunteers for, or earns. It is exponentially worse than any scary dream you have ever had. Without professional help, depression can be a continuing, living nightmare.
Suggestion 3: Get the depressed person to a licensed mental health worker. Within driving distance of your residence, there are licensed psychologists, licensed social workers and licensed counselors who can defeat depression. If medicines are needed, there are physicians with specialties in mental health, called psychiatrists, who may prescribe medicines for depression. You do not have to remember the names of these professionals to know the deal.
The deal is that depression can be defeated. You may not get much help from a doctor for your bad cold, but depression is highly treatable.
Additional resources beyond this blog, include:
WebMD.com for useful information,
Depression for Dummies (Wiley Publishing, Inc.)
look at http://www.womackcounseling.com,
you might talk to someone who actually knows about divorce and depression: Beverly Womack, 903-535-7290.
Tuesday, May 10, 2011
Texas Visitation for Babies and Small Children
The Texas Legislature has passed a detailed law ( S.B. 820 ) concerning visitation with babies, less than 3 years of age. The Judge “shall consider evidence of all relevant factors”. There is a list of 13 things to consider, including “any other evidence of the best interest of the child”.
The “best interest” often means drugs, alcohol, and mommy or daddy having sex with someone else. This evidence helps the Judge understand that, in the best interest of a child, a miracle is needed.
The rest of the list includes things like, “the caregiving” bestowed on the baby before and during the lawsuit, the “developmental needs of the child”, and the ability to give “personal care” to the child. This kind of evidence actually pertains to the child and is a breath of fresh air.
If it appears that the evidence turning to the care of the child, take heart. Evidence on “the impact and influence of individuals” who will be present during visitation is to be heard. This means more sniping at the loopy mother-in-law or the new girlfriend. The assault will continue for the “emotional, economic, and social conditions of the parties”. This means, in a recession, showing that the other party is out of work. Does being poor now mean bad parenting? The term, social conditions, is full of possibilities for defamation. Does the Judge draw the line at a parent having
no country club membership, or
no cable television, or
no indoor plumbing?
The statute gives the Judge responsibilities to do the right thing by the child. However, specific guidance from the legislature is blurry. If I were a Family Law Judge, I would do more drinking.
If the Governor signs the statute, the trouble will start for cases pending September 1st or filed thereafter.
The “best interest” often means drugs, alcohol, and mommy or daddy having sex with someone else. This evidence helps the Judge understand that, in the best interest of a child, a miracle is needed.
The rest of the list includes things like, “the caregiving” bestowed on the baby before and during the lawsuit, the “developmental needs of the child”, and the ability to give “personal care” to the child. This kind of evidence actually pertains to the child and is a breath of fresh air.
If it appears that the evidence turning to the care of the child, take heart. Evidence on “the impact and influence of individuals” who will be present during visitation is to be heard. This means more sniping at the loopy mother-in-law or the new girlfriend. The assault will continue for the “emotional, economic, and social conditions of the parties”. This means, in a recession, showing that the other party is out of work. Does being poor now mean bad parenting? The term, social conditions, is full of possibilities for defamation. Does the Judge draw the line at a parent having
no country club membership, or
no cable television, or
no indoor plumbing?
The statute gives the Judge responsibilities to do the right thing by the child. However, specific guidance from the legislature is blurry. If I were a Family Law Judge, I would do more drinking.
If the Governor signs the statute, the trouble will start for cases pending September 1st or filed thereafter.
Wednesday, May 4, 2011
Tough Guys
Usama Bin Laden (UBL) was in Abbottabad, Pakistan this past weekend, when Seal Team 6 came calling. The most notorious 21st Century tough guy stood behind his wife, who was shot in her leg. In Texas, this is called “hiding behind your woman’s skirts”.
Several years ago, David Koresh was enjoying life in the Branch Davidian’s compound at Waco, Texas, when ATF agents came calling. Koresh and his followers machine gunned ATF agents. Three hundred federal agents then surrounded the compound. The tough guy, David Koresh, called his mother and complained that the federal government was being mean to him. This is called “whining”.
At the courthouse, Judges see tough guys, who beat their women. Typically, these tough guys are ugly to every women in their family, but are very polite to women they meet in public. They are violent to wives, girl friends, and mothers, but nice to the boss' secretary and strippers. These tough guys call this “machismo”.
After an adult lifetime of hearing belittling criticisms by the women’s movement, I want to talk about tough guys.
I mean, talk about really tough men. There are two ways really tough men can act in the face of heavily armed opponents.
Example 1: Face the music. Jesus faced armed men at the Garden of Gethsemane. He surrendered. He calmed tensions. He faced his fate with courage and prayer. This was one really tough guy. Three days later, in the early morning Jesus walked out of his tomb between two angels. The Centurian and Roman guards were heavily armed, and had sworn to stop Jesus from leaving. Too tough by a mile. The Romans decided it was better to wake up Pontious Pilate, than to come after Jesus and two Angels.
Example 2: “Come and get me, you dirty rats!” In 1836, the men at the Alamo at San Antonio faced a large army from Mexico. That army never took prisoners. The men could flee or stay and fight impossible odds. There would be no help. They were on their own. William Travis drew a line in the sand, and the men stepped across the line. Jim Bowie, in bed with TB, had his bed carried across the line. Tough guys.
The toughest guys you know. If you are looking for a tough guy, one needs look no further than a man, who married a woman, treated her right, and reared their children to do right. He did this in our modern day insane society. He did this without hiding behind his woman’s skirts, without whining, and without violence. He did this in the face of hostility and ridicule from society. They are not in the news, but tough guys are not hard to find.
Several years ago, David Koresh was enjoying life in the Branch Davidian’s compound at Waco, Texas, when ATF agents came calling. Koresh and his followers machine gunned ATF agents. Three hundred federal agents then surrounded the compound. The tough guy, David Koresh, called his mother and complained that the federal government was being mean to him. This is called “whining”.
At the courthouse, Judges see tough guys, who beat their women. Typically, these tough guys are ugly to every women in their family, but are very polite to women they meet in public. They are violent to wives, girl friends, and mothers, but nice to the boss' secretary and strippers. These tough guys call this “machismo”.
After an adult lifetime of hearing belittling criticisms by the women’s movement, I want to talk about tough guys.
I mean, talk about really tough men. There are two ways really tough men can act in the face of heavily armed opponents.
Example 1: Face the music. Jesus faced armed men at the Garden of Gethsemane. He surrendered. He calmed tensions. He faced his fate with courage and prayer. This was one really tough guy. Three days later, in the early morning Jesus walked out of his tomb between two angels. The Centurian and Roman guards were heavily armed, and had sworn to stop Jesus from leaving. Too tough by a mile. The Romans decided it was better to wake up Pontious Pilate, than to come after Jesus and two Angels.
Example 2: “Come and get me, you dirty rats!” In 1836, the men at the Alamo at San Antonio faced a large army from Mexico. That army never took prisoners. The men could flee or stay and fight impossible odds. There would be no help. They were on their own. William Travis drew a line in the sand, and the men stepped across the line. Jim Bowie, in bed with TB, had his bed carried across the line. Tough guys.
The toughest guys you know. If you are looking for a tough guy, one needs look no further than a man, who married a woman, treated her right, and reared their children to do right. He did this in our modern day insane society. He did this without hiding behind his woman’s skirts, without whining, and without violence. He did this in the face of hostility and ridicule from society. They are not in the news, but tough guys are not hard to find.
Monday, May 2, 2011
Understanding Child Support
It was Socrates’ opinion, “I advise everyone to get married. If your spouse is good, you will be happy. If your spouse is bad, you will become a philosopher.” Child support makes all of us philosophers.
The short explanation. Things began at that time you, your spouse and your children lived in one residence and struggled to pay bills. Now the same family is spending money for two residences, and it is impossible to make ends meet. The person paying child support sends off a week’s paycheck, more or less, as child support. He or she also makes a payment for the health insurance for the children. With 1/3 to 1/2 of the paycheck being deducted from a paycheck, the person paying child support cannot get started again.
The person receiving child support knows that 1 1/4 paychecks is not going to pay the bills that 2 paychecks had trouble paying earlier. The words, “I need help with daycare”, does not add to the amount of child support. There are exceptions, of course, but do not plan on receiving more child support than is on the Texas Standard Child Support chart.
The longer explanation begins with the Attorney General of Texas calculating the “net income” of the person paying child support. From the Attorney General’s tax chart, the payor then pays 20% of net pay for one child, 25% of net pay for two children, and 30% of net pay for three children. This is the Attorney General of Texas’ estimate of someone’s “net pay”, not the actual “net pay”. Car loans and other common deductions are not recognized by the Attorney General of Texas. The costs of the health insurance may be more than the amount of child support itself.
All child support payments are sent to the “Attorney General, P.O. Box 13499, Austin, Texas 78711-3499", who electronically deposits the child support into the bank account of the person with custody of the children. The Attorney General also keeps a record of all payments and all failures to pay.
All child support payments are deducted directly from the paycheck before the person paying the child support ever sees the check. There is no reason to ask, “Where’s the check?” When the company pays its employee, the company also sends out a check for child support. It is a company deal.
When an employee gets a paycheck, the amount and the deductions are reported to the Comptroller’s computer and then sent to the Attorney General’s computer. The Attorney General has the payroll records; it knows the payor’s wages.
Summary: Children need support. There is not enough money to go around. The system may hold together, if everyone does their part.
The short explanation. Things began at that time you, your spouse and your children lived in one residence and struggled to pay bills. Now the same family is spending money for two residences, and it is impossible to make ends meet. The person paying child support sends off a week’s paycheck, more or less, as child support. He or she also makes a payment for the health insurance for the children. With 1/3 to 1/2 of the paycheck being deducted from a paycheck, the person paying child support cannot get started again.
The person receiving child support knows that 1 1/4 paychecks is not going to pay the bills that 2 paychecks had trouble paying earlier. The words, “I need help with daycare”, does not add to the amount of child support. There are exceptions, of course, but do not plan on receiving more child support than is on the Texas Standard Child Support chart.
The longer explanation begins with the Attorney General of Texas calculating the “net income” of the person paying child support. From the Attorney General’s tax chart, the payor then pays 20% of net pay for one child, 25% of net pay for two children, and 30% of net pay for three children. This is the Attorney General of Texas’ estimate of someone’s “net pay”, not the actual “net pay”. Car loans and other common deductions are not recognized by the Attorney General of Texas. The costs of the health insurance may be more than the amount of child support itself.
All child support payments are sent to the “Attorney General, P.O. Box 13499, Austin, Texas 78711-3499", who electronically deposits the child support into the bank account of the person with custody of the children. The Attorney General also keeps a record of all payments and all failures to pay.
All child support payments are deducted directly from the paycheck before the person paying the child support ever sees the check. There is no reason to ask, “Where’s the check?” When the company pays its employee, the company also sends out a check for child support. It is a company deal.
When an employee gets a paycheck, the amount and the deductions are reported to the Comptroller’s computer and then sent to the Attorney General’s computer. The Attorney General has the payroll records; it knows the payor’s wages.
Summary: Children need support. There is not enough money to go around. The system may hold together, if everyone does their part.
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