Things to do first in a divorce.

Here is a list of things to do early in the divorce procedures.   The following is not a complete list, it is just some things to think about.

1. Go see your doctor. Divorce is stressful and depressing. Get something to help you sleep. If you have been battered, get it documented by the doctor and his staff.

2. If you feel that you are in danger, go stay with daddy or your oldest male relative. It is amazing how the idea of seeing the grumpy old guy, with a shotgun, calms an abusive husband.

Listen to your feelings. There are warning signs of spousal abuse.

3. Take some photographs inside and outside the residence and all the vehicles. Make copies of all valuable documents like letters, diaries, deeds, car titles, check books, and credit card statements. The Judge already knows what you think of your spouse. The Judge wants to see evidence and these things are evidence. I do not want original documents in my office and I do not know of any lawyer who wants to be responsible for originals. Go to a copy place. Make good copies.

4. MySpace, Facebook, &; Twitter pages are used every day in divorce courts. Even if you marked them private or for friends only. If you have been too opinionated, vulgar, or adventuresome in the social media, ( ahem ) change your ways. If your spouse ( or girlfriend ) has done the same, print some pages for your lawyer. In that regard, remember that e-mails and texts are also commonly put into evidence and shown to the Judge.

5. Drugs: society may accept recreational drug use. A judge concerned about children will only see an easy way to decide custodial rights. Clean up and stay clean.

Being prepared may make the case a lot easier, and that is something you will need.

Facebook in 20% of American Divorces

It is being reported today that photographs and statements from Facebook, MySpace, and other social websites are the primary evidence in 20% of matrimonial and custodial court cases. Yes, Yes, Yes. Members routinely put the sexiest photographs on Facebook. Members, who are unhappy, routinely say the ugliest things on Facebook or brag about their adventures. Even if you limit the photographs and text messages to your friends only, the Courts look at printed copies of Facebook and MySpace entries every working day of the week. When your super sexy photograph is shown to the Judge or your brag about smoking grass is shown to the Judge, it may hurt your argument that you are a great mother or a great father.

Since the Facebook statements are "admissions against interest" (confessions), they are not hearsay and come rolling into evidence. Since Facebook photographs show what you actually looked like on the day the picture was taken, they come rolling into evidence.

Putting something too sexy or too adventuresome on Facebook or MySpace is like picking up a cat by the tail. You will learn things you cannot learn any other way.