When should I ask for custody of my children?
You ask for custody of your children when 1. they are in physical danger, or 2. they are in emotional danger. Real danger, living in a crack house danger, living with a drug addict danger, living with a convicted pedophile danger; not "she was mean to me and made me leave" danger. The rules of visitation in Texas are so close to a 50/50 deal, that a lawyer should ask you why you are willing to make life-long scars on the children by starting a custody fight. Just because your spouse does not like you, or is not faithful, or you are angry, should not qualify as a reason to leave scars on your children's emotional health.
Some examples may be helpful:
1. my spouse uses meth, cocaine, or other illicit drugs - Yes.
2. my spouse is a practicing alcoholic - Yes.
3. my spouse hits me, kicks me, and is call-the-police-again abusive - Yes.
4. my spouse earns a living as a criminal - Yes.
5. my spouse is crazy (in the sense that he or she has a verifiable mental illness or verifiable personality disorder to the extent he or she is not up to the stress of rearing children); if this condition is as bad as you tell your lawyer, then custody is usually settled without a fight - Yes.
6. my spouse is crazy (everyone goes temporarily insane under the stress of a divorce case, my spouse is crazy to leave me, my spouse is not faithful, my spouse makes me really angry, my spouse has many personal faults) - No.
7. the school grades for my children are terrible - Investigate more, school grades are a good indicator of what is happening at home. More evidence is needed, but something is cooking and it is not good for the child.
8. the child is older and simply wants to live with daddy or mommy for a while - give this time to make sure the child doesn't simply say this to you and your spouse to make each of you happy. Give this time, and then take action, slowly.
Going through a divorce leaves life long scars on adults. Children are not adults, and did not go on a date with, nor marry any person involved in your divorce. Go easy with your children. This divorce should not be their deal.
Many a psychologist will tell you that it is better for the children to live with the less qualified parent, if the better parent exercises visitation and makes an effort to have a positive influence on their children. You might begin this process by making an appointment with a child psychologist, pay the fee, and talk about your children. You want to be the better parent, don't you? You want what's best for your children, don't you? Then why not start with a conference with an expert in what's best for children? It will make you a better parent, will help your children, and provide focus and evidence for your lawyer.
Thursday, August 30, 2007
Wednesday, August 29, 2007
What do I need to know when I go in a courtroom?
What do I need to know when I go into a courtroom?
1. The Judge is in charge. You obey the Judge.
2. Your lawyer will speak for you to the Judge. He speaks, asks questions, objects, argues, shouts, and prays on your behalf.
3. You speak when you are asked questions by your lawyer, the other lawyer, or the Judge. You speak when questioned, you stop when you answered the question or you hear someone say, "Objection".
4. You will tell your story in question and answer form. In other words, your lawyer (or the Judge) asks questions, and you give answers. The plan is for you to tell your story by telling facts and answering the questions.
5. Tell the facts and not opinions. This means the Judge does not want to hear that you think your spouse is a lousy parent; the Judge wants to hear that on July 1st, your spouse was drunk, hit you, and knocked you down in front of the children. The Judge will then decide, based on these facts, whether your spouse is a good parent.
6. You answer a question and then stop talking, you do not try to convince the other side you are right. Your spouse's lawyer is being paid a lot of money and will never believe you are right (until the money runs out).
7. After being sworn in as a witness, you do not talk to other witnesses about the facts or the case or anything related about the case. This may disqualify your testimony, prevent others from testifying, and kill your case. Talk about Dallas Cowboy football or something else.
8. Above all else, keep your cool. Don't let them see you sweat, look discouraged, or look apologetic. The facts, just the facts, and let the Judge make his ruling.
http://www.georgeconnerlaw.com/
connerlaw@yahoo.com
1. The Judge is in charge. You obey the Judge.
2. Your lawyer will speak for you to the Judge. He speaks, asks questions, objects, argues, shouts, and prays on your behalf.
3. You speak when you are asked questions by your lawyer, the other lawyer, or the Judge. You speak when questioned, you stop when you answered the question or you hear someone say, "Objection".
4. You will tell your story in question and answer form. In other words, your lawyer (or the Judge) asks questions, and you give answers. The plan is for you to tell your story by telling facts and answering the questions.
5. Tell the facts and not opinions. This means the Judge does not want to hear that you think your spouse is a lousy parent; the Judge wants to hear that on July 1st, your spouse was drunk, hit you, and knocked you down in front of the children. The Judge will then decide, based on these facts, whether your spouse is a good parent.
6. You answer a question and then stop talking, you do not try to convince the other side you are right. Your spouse's lawyer is being paid a lot of money and will never believe you are right (until the money runs out).
7. After being sworn in as a witness, you do not talk to other witnesses about the facts or the case or anything related about the case. This may disqualify your testimony, prevent others from testifying, and kill your case. Talk about Dallas Cowboy football or something else.
8. Above all else, keep your cool. Don't let them see you sweat, look discouraged, or look apologetic. The facts, just the facts, and let the Judge make his ruling.
http://www.georgeconnerlaw.com/
connerlaw@yahoo.com
Friday, July 13, 2007
How can communication work after the divorce?
How can communication work after the divorce?If the parties can overcome the anger and frustration, and work for the children, then there are some good options.
1. Set up a second telephone line (or a second ringer) at the children's residence.
2. Set up email accounts for the children.
3. Use a small diary, with a lock, to send back and forth, as the child goes for visitations. The child may never see the inside of the diary, but messages about medicines, school activities, doctor appointments, baseball schedules, and other important messages can go back and forth.
4. Send birthday cards. Mark your calendar. Keep a copy of the card.
5. Send Valentine's Day cards. Mark your calendar. Keep a copy of the card.
6. Send Christmas cards. Keep a copy of the card.
7. Train yourself to call the other party ahead of all visitation periods, and to call at the slightest hint that there may be a delay or a problem. Common courtisies not only help ease tensions, but also may help prevent going back to court.
8. Call the children's school counselors, get to know them, find out what is going on with the children at school.
9. Never say anything that you do not want repeated on open court for the Judge. You are not doing this to win arguments with someone that may not be very likeable, you are doing this for a small child who needs you. Your child does not need bitterness, your child needs the better nature of your angels.
10. Use the 2 hour weekly visitation with your children to grab some pizza and find out how they are doing.This will take some work, will take dealing with someone who may not be very likeable, and you may take more than your share of guff. You are doing this for children you need you and love you. The more communication, the faster your wounds will heal, and the better for your children.
George Conner
web page: www.georgeconnerlaw.com
email: connerlaw@yahoo.com
1. Set up a second telephone line (or a second ringer) at the children's residence.
2. Set up email accounts for the children.
3. Use a small diary, with a lock, to send back and forth, as the child goes for visitations. The child may never see the inside of the diary, but messages about medicines, school activities, doctor appointments, baseball schedules, and other important messages can go back and forth.
4. Send birthday cards. Mark your calendar. Keep a copy of the card.
5. Send Valentine's Day cards. Mark your calendar. Keep a copy of the card.
6. Send Christmas cards. Keep a copy of the card.
7. Train yourself to call the other party ahead of all visitation periods, and to call at the slightest hint that there may be a delay or a problem. Common courtisies not only help ease tensions, but also may help prevent going back to court.
8. Call the children's school counselors, get to know them, find out what is going on with the children at school.
9. Never say anything that you do not want repeated on open court for the Judge. You are not doing this to win arguments with someone that may not be very likeable, you are doing this for a small child who needs you. Your child does not need bitterness, your child needs the better nature of your angels.
10. Use the 2 hour weekly visitation with your children to grab some pizza and find out how they are doing.This will take some work, will take dealing with someone who may not be very likeable, and you may take more than your share of guff. You are doing this for children you need you and love you. The more communication, the faster your wounds will heal, and the better for your children.
George Conner
web page: www.georgeconnerlaw.com
email: connerlaw@yahoo.com
Thursday, May 17, 2007
How can my husband adopt his stepson?
My husband wants to adopt his stepson. How do we do that?
The steps for an adoption begin with the 1. preparation of an Affidavit of Relinquishment of Parental Rights by the natural father of the child, 2. filing a Petition for Termination and Adoption, 3. mailing off the fingerprints for a criminal history report from Austin, Texas, 4. getting with the social worker for the preparation of a social study for the Judge, 5. going to the adoption hearing before the Judge.
The social worker makes an appointment with you and your family, takes a look around, asks some questions, and will have a list of things for you to get together. The social worker will be interested in seeing that each child has a bed, toys, clothes, and that someone has a steady job. The social worker will be interested in the health of the children and the adoptive parent. The social worker will want to hear that your marriage is stable. The visit is usually a low key interview at your house and should go well.
To start the process, get together the names, addresses, telephone numbers, dates of birth, driver's license numbers, and social security numbers of the adoptive father, the mother, the natural father, and the child to be adopted. Come to the lawyer's office with the list of names and numbers (and your checkbook ) and talk about the adoption.
The process should take several months, but problems can arise, usually with locating the father and getting the Affidavit of Termination signed with two witnesses and a notary public. Having everything lined up and ready to go saves time, money, and keeps things going smoothly.
An adoption is a wonderful thing, and is the one case Judges look forward to hearing. An adoption is the only case the Judge will hear that puts a family together and is a legal expression of love for one another. Get things in order, and the Judge will be happy to hear your adoption case.
George Conner
web page: www.georgeconnerlaw.com
email: connerlaw@yahoo.com
The steps for an adoption begin with the 1. preparation of an Affidavit of Relinquishment of Parental Rights by the natural father of the child, 2. filing a Petition for Termination and Adoption, 3. mailing off the fingerprints for a criminal history report from Austin, Texas, 4. getting with the social worker for the preparation of a social study for the Judge, 5. going to the adoption hearing before the Judge.
The social worker makes an appointment with you and your family, takes a look around, asks some questions, and will have a list of things for you to get together. The social worker will be interested in seeing that each child has a bed, toys, clothes, and that someone has a steady job. The social worker will be interested in the health of the children and the adoptive parent. The social worker will want to hear that your marriage is stable. The visit is usually a low key interview at your house and should go well.
To start the process, get together the names, addresses, telephone numbers, dates of birth, driver's license numbers, and social security numbers of the adoptive father, the mother, the natural father, and the child to be adopted. Come to the lawyer's office with the list of names and numbers (and your checkbook ) and talk about the adoption.
The process should take several months, but problems can arise, usually with locating the father and getting the Affidavit of Termination signed with two witnesses and a notary public. Having everything lined up and ready to go saves time, money, and keeps things going smoothly.
An adoption is a wonderful thing, and is the one case Judges look forward to hearing. An adoption is the only case the Judge will hear that puts a family together and is a legal expression of love for one another. Get things in order, and the Judge will be happy to hear your adoption case.
George Conner
web page: www.georgeconnerlaw.com
email: connerlaw@yahoo.com
Wednesday, May 16, 2007
What do I wear to the Courtroom?
What do I wear to the Courtroom?
If you are going to testify as a witness, then you will want to make a good impression. You should want to show the Judge that you are respectful and realize the importance of what is happening. Surely you want the Judge to believe that you are a truthful person. Consider wearing your Sunday clothes that you wear to church. A blue Gingham dress, slacks, tie and a sportcoat, or a business suit are possibilities.
There are things that you should probably not wear or show. Flip flops, shorts, tank tops, T-shirts, and jogging shoes are too casual and may send the signal that you are not respectful of the Judge or his power. Showing off your jewelry, showing off your too fashionable clothing, showing off your hair style may send the signal that you do not have the right priorities.
Do not wear blue jeans, unless you are in Texas and the blue jeans are just out of the cleaners and starched and pressed. Being too sexy, too fashionable, or showing too much wealth will not be helpful.
Some examples may be helpful. If you are young man, proud, and a cross dresser, please do not wear pink women's underwear under a white T-shirt to Court. If you are going to Federal Court, where they keep extra coats and ties for witnesses, please do not wear shorts, loafers without socks, and a T-shirt. If you have not paid child support in a while, please do not go to Court wearing your diamonds and gold jewelry. If you have not paid child support in a while, please do not park next to the Judge's parking lot in your new baby blue Mercedes-Benz. All of these things can make for a long day.
In summary, please strive to wear clothing that show the Court that on at least this one day, you are respectful of his power, his authority, and that you are a truthful solid citizen. After all, isn't that what you want to be?
George Conner
www.georgeconnerlaw.com
If you are going to testify as a witness, then you will want to make a good impression. You should want to show the Judge that you are respectful and realize the importance of what is happening. Surely you want the Judge to believe that you are a truthful person. Consider wearing your Sunday clothes that you wear to church. A blue Gingham dress, slacks, tie and a sportcoat, or a business suit are possibilities.
There are things that you should probably not wear or show. Flip flops, shorts, tank tops, T-shirts, and jogging shoes are too casual and may send the signal that you are not respectful of the Judge or his power. Showing off your jewelry, showing off your too fashionable clothing, showing off your hair style may send the signal that you do not have the right priorities.
Do not wear blue jeans, unless you are in Texas and the blue jeans are just out of the cleaners and starched and pressed. Being too sexy, too fashionable, or showing too much wealth will not be helpful.
Some examples may be helpful. If you are young man, proud, and a cross dresser, please do not wear pink women's underwear under a white T-shirt to Court. If you are going to Federal Court, where they keep extra coats and ties for witnesses, please do not wear shorts, loafers without socks, and a T-shirt. If you have not paid child support in a while, please do not go to Court wearing your diamonds and gold jewelry. If you have not paid child support in a while, please do not park next to the Judge's parking lot in your new baby blue Mercedes-Benz. All of these things can make for a long day.
In summary, please strive to wear clothing that show the Court that on at least this one day, you are respectful of his power, his authority, and that you are a truthful solid citizen. After all, isn't that what you want to be?
George Conner
www.georgeconnerlaw.com
Friday, May 11, 2007
The Attorney General just sent me a letter.
I just got a letter from the Attorney General of Texas (Child Support Division), what do I do?
The Attorney General of Texas (Child Support Division) has big powers, and in my view unconstitutional powers, to collect child support. On the basis of one thin letter, which you may or may not receive, the Child Support Division can withhold money from your paycheck, raise your child support, place a lien on your property, report you to a credit agency, and seize your 401k retirement. Of course, you will pay the penalties and taxes on the early withdrawal of your 401k, even if the Child Support Division made an error, and you owed no child support. The Child Support system is based on your wages and your child support payments, as reported to computers. Should you trust their computers? Not if you have ever lost money in a Coke machine or at a newspaper stand. If you receive an Attorney General of Texas Child Support letter, then - 1. read the letter or have someone read it to you; 2. look for the OAG number and highlight it or circle it; 3. look to see if there is a meeting date, meeting time, and meeting place; 4. look to see if you recognize any names of children or adults in the letter; 5. get out the old divorce decree, or other legal documents, if any, that may pertain to the letter; 6. call the telephone number on the letter, and get set for the long wait, or call a lawyer now, make an appointment, (good lawyers are busy and have other clients) and get started. The Attorney General of Texas (Child Support Division) will say that he is not representing your ex-wife or ex-husband, and will say that he is not representing the other parent, and will say that child support is not a debt. You will better advised not to believe any of these things. Take the letter seriously.
George Conner
www.georgeconnerlaw.com
The Attorney General of Texas (Child Support Division) has big powers, and in my view unconstitutional powers, to collect child support. On the basis of one thin letter, which you may or may not receive, the Child Support Division can withhold money from your paycheck, raise your child support, place a lien on your property, report you to a credit agency, and seize your 401k retirement. Of course, you will pay the penalties and taxes on the early withdrawal of your 401k, even if the Child Support Division made an error, and you owed no child support. The Child Support system is based on your wages and your child support payments, as reported to computers. Should you trust their computers? Not if you have ever lost money in a Coke machine or at a newspaper stand. If you receive an Attorney General of Texas Child Support letter, then - 1. read the letter or have someone read it to you; 2. look for the OAG number and highlight it or circle it; 3. look to see if there is a meeting date, meeting time, and meeting place; 4. look to see if you recognize any names of children or adults in the letter; 5. get out the old divorce decree, or other legal documents, if any, that may pertain to the letter; 6. call the telephone number on the letter, and get set for the long wait, or call a lawyer now, make an appointment, (good lawyers are busy and have other clients) and get started. The Attorney General of Texas (Child Support Division) will say that he is not representing your ex-wife or ex-husband, and will say that he is not representing the other parent, and will say that child support is not a debt. You will better advised not to believe any of these things. Take the letter seriously.
George Conner
www.georgeconnerlaw.com
My husband is threatening me.
My husband threatened to kill me. What should I do?
Believe the threats. Family violence has warnings, usually years of verbal threats. Believe the threats. It is time to act. A threat is a crime. Making threats is a crime. If you live in the City of Tyler, Texas, call the police at 903-531-1000. If you live in the county, call the Sheriff. If your husband has been under a protective order, pled guilty, or paid a fine for family violence, or is a felon and has a gun, tell the police. File a complaint, get a case number. Do this each time you are threatened. Make a zero tolerance for threats and violence. Go to a safe place. Take a moment to listen to your intuition. If your intuition says you need to go to a place of safety, go. As a practicing attorney, I learned that when the wife goes to stay with daddy, things calm down. There's just something about that grumpy old guy with the shotgun. If that is not in the picture, then call the Crisis Center 903-509-2526 for Smith County, or 903-586-9118 for Cherokee and Anderson County. The Crisis Center will have a place for you and your children. Your lawyer. Call your lawyer. A protective order can be prepared and filed. He may have other ideas that will be helpful. His staff also needs to know that they may be in danger too. Code Messages: Talk to your family, friends, and co-workers about a code phrase which is a signal of danger and call for help. Asking a co-worker, "Could you bring me the Dr. Smith file?" could be a message to call the police, my husband is here and I am in danger. Calling your mother and asking, "Could I borrow your car? could be the same message. The Bottom Line: Take a threat seriously. Report threats to the police. Go to a place of safety. Tell your lawyer. Only living clients pay legal bills; your lawyer is on your side.
George Conner
www.georgeconnerlaw.com
Believe the threats. Family violence has warnings, usually years of verbal threats. Believe the threats. It is time to act. A threat is a crime. Making threats is a crime. If you live in the City of Tyler, Texas, call the police at 903-531-1000. If you live in the county, call the Sheriff. If your husband has been under a protective order, pled guilty, or paid a fine for family violence, or is a felon and has a gun, tell the police. File a complaint, get a case number. Do this each time you are threatened. Make a zero tolerance for threats and violence. Go to a safe place. Take a moment to listen to your intuition. If your intuition says you need to go to a place of safety, go. As a practicing attorney, I learned that when the wife goes to stay with daddy, things calm down. There's just something about that grumpy old guy with the shotgun. If that is not in the picture, then call the Crisis Center 903-509-2526 for Smith County, or 903-586-9118 for Cherokee and Anderson County. The Crisis Center will have a place for you and your children. Your lawyer. Call your lawyer. A protective order can be prepared and filed. He may have other ideas that will be helpful. His staff also needs to know that they may be in danger too. Code Messages: Talk to your family, friends, and co-workers about a code phrase which is a signal of danger and call for help. Asking a co-worker, "Could you bring me the Dr. Smith file?" could be a message to call the police, my husband is here and I am in danger. Calling your mother and asking, "Could I borrow your car? could be the same message. The Bottom Line: Take a threat seriously. Report threats to the police. Go to a place of safety. Tell your lawyer. Only living clients pay legal bills; your lawyer is on your side.
George Conner
www.georgeconnerlaw.com
What do I do? I was just served divorce papers.
I have just been served with divorce papers, what do I do now?
1. Take 5 deep breaths and control your frustration and anger, now is the time for action and cool thinking. 2. Read the papers to see if there is time and date of a hearing. Make a mental note of the name of the Court and opposing lawyer. 3. Read the papers to see if you have been Ordered to do something. It is dangerous to disobey and Court's Order, even if it is unfair. 4. Make a copy of deeds, financial statements, mortgages, deeds of trust, car titles, letters, notes, bills, and every other paper of importance. 5. Make some telephone calls to your bank, (to see if you have grocery money left), to the phone company, gas company, car insurance, mortgage company, the place where you make your car payments, your credit card accounts, and the electric company (to see if the electricity is about to be cut off). 6. Before you leave the residence, take flash pictures of the inside of the residence, each closet, and the outside and the automobiles. This will make it easier to show the Judge what was there, how much it was worth, and what your should receive. 7. Call a lawyer now, good lawyers have other clients, hearings, and you have less time than you think. Choose a lawyer with whom you feel comfortable and tell him what you want (grandma's rocker). Give the lawyer a box of copies, SSN numbers, driver's license numbers, dates of birth, and the names of people who can tell him important things about your property, your children, or your safety. ain 8. Take a moment to think about safety. Your physical safety, the safety of your children. Follow your instinct about danger. Everyone goes a little insane during a divorce, so follow your feelings and think safety. Walk or run away from any confrontation, argument, shouting match or fight. Fighting will seriously damage your case, and is pointless. Things have changed; you no longer argue with your spouse, you persuade a Judge. The bottom line: This is going to be a business deal, so stay cool, and get the business things copied and photographed. Think safety. Take care of business and safety now. Call a lawyer. There will be plenty of time later to tell yourself that, "The next time I want a hairy, arrogant male, who urinates on the floor, I will get a Tom cat."
George Conner
www.georgeconnerlaw.com
1. Take 5 deep breaths and control your frustration and anger, now is the time for action and cool thinking. 2. Read the papers to see if there is time and date of a hearing. Make a mental note of the name of the Court and opposing lawyer. 3. Read the papers to see if you have been Ordered to do something. It is dangerous to disobey and Court's Order, even if it is unfair. 4. Make a copy of deeds, financial statements, mortgages, deeds of trust, car titles, letters, notes, bills, and every other paper of importance. 5. Make some telephone calls to your bank, (to see if you have grocery money left), to the phone company, gas company, car insurance, mortgage company, the place where you make your car payments, your credit card accounts, and the electric company (to see if the electricity is about to be cut off). 6. Before you leave the residence, take flash pictures of the inside of the residence, each closet, and the outside and the automobiles. This will make it easier to show the Judge what was there, how much it was worth, and what your should receive. 7. Call a lawyer now, good lawyers have other clients, hearings, and you have less time than you think. Choose a lawyer with whom you feel comfortable and tell him what you want (grandma's rocker). Give the lawyer a box of copies, SSN numbers, driver's license numbers, dates of birth, and the names of people who can tell him important things about your property, your children, or your safety. ain 8. Take a moment to think about safety. Your physical safety, the safety of your children. Follow your instinct about danger. Everyone goes a little insane during a divorce, so follow your feelings and think safety. Walk or run away from any confrontation, argument, shouting match or fight. Fighting will seriously damage your case, and is pointless. Things have changed; you no longer argue with your spouse, you persuade a Judge. The bottom line: This is going to be a business deal, so stay cool, and get the business things copied and photographed. Think safety. Take care of business and safety now. Call a lawyer. There will be plenty of time later to tell yourself that, "The next time I want a hairy, arrogant male, who urinates on the floor, I will get a Tom cat."
George Conner
www.georgeconnerlaw.com
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