It is easy for the attorney to become complacent about income taxes. The client is not a millionaire, the spouse is a working man, and exotic investments are just not a problem. It has been suggested, however, that ( 1 ) if one of the parties may work for cash on the side, ( 2 ) or income tax returns are not being filed as they should, ( 3 ) or if one of the parties may not follow the East Texas "do right" rule, then some added protection should be added:
It Is Ordered that Bad Boy shall pay the income taxes for the tax year 2009 [ and tax years..... ], and shall hold Good Wife harmless from the payment of income taxes for the same years. It Is Ordered that in the event the Internal Revenue Service, for the tax year 2009 taxes, audits Good Wife, seeks to collect income taxes from Good Wife, garnishes wages of Good Wife, seeks to collect penalties from Good Wife, seeks to collect interest from Good Wife, or files a tax lien on property of Good Wife, then Bad Boy husband shall pay Good Wife the sum of $5,000 in legal fees for her legal defense to the Internal Revenue Service claims. It Is Ordered that Bay Boy shall additionally pay Good Wife's expenses, and taxes, interest and penalties owed by Good Wife.
The attorneys fees provision is in line with the costs of wrestling with the Internal Revenue Service over income the Good Wife may not have known existed, on paperwork and from jobs the Good Wife never knew about. Being as specific as possible, especially as to the money to be paid, is best.
This is just a suggestion, of course, and the idea is to be specific, so that the Bad Boy, the Judge, and the Internal Revenue Service, all know exactly what you need to protect yourself from a nightmare.
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
Divorce Decree clauses - Tattoos & Piercings
Some divorcing parents, with an eye towards their teenage children, add new clauses to divorce decrees. Some examples include:
It Is Ordered that no parent conservator shall consent to a child receiving a permanent tattoo.
It Is Ordered that no parent conservator shall consent to a child being pierced in the face, tongue, nose, stomach, or other parts of the body, for jewelry or decoration or for non-medical purposes.
These provisions are not in the usual divorce decree, but may help a teenage child after he decides to put on a suit and go to a real job interview for a job with a future.
It Is Ordered that no parent conservator shall consent to a child receiving a permanent tattoo.
It Is Ordered that no parent conservator shall consent to a child being pierced in the face, tongue, nose, stomach, or other parts of the body, for jewelry or decoration or for non-medical purposes.
These provisions are not in the usual divorce decree, but may help a teenage child after he decides to put on a suit and go to a real job interview for a job with a future.
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
How can a mediator "invent" options to settle my case?
In "Getting to Yes", by Fisher and Ury, a story is told about two sisters who argued over who was to get the last orange in the kitchen. They settled by cutting the orange in the middle and each took her half. One sister took her half orange in the den, ate the fruit, and threw away the peel. The other sister stayed in the kitchen, used the peel to make marmalade, and threw away the fruit.
Each sister liked to yell at her sister, and they did settle, but with a little mediation and a discussion of what they really wanted, each sister could have had all she wanted.
Not all problems can be mediated by asking, "Why?"
Not all problems can be mediated by asking, "What is the real deal?"
However, by asking the right questions, and using the other tools at his disposal, a mediator should offer options to the parties that makes the settlement possible.
Each sister liked to yell at her sister, and they did settle, but with a little mediation and a discussion of what they really wanted, each sister could have had all she wanted.
Not all problems can be mediated by asking, "Why?"
Not all problems can be mediated by asking, "What is the real deal?"
However, by asking the right questions, and using the other tools at his disposal, a mediator should offer options to the parties that makes the settlement possible.
What does a mediator do?
A mediator's goal is to settle the controversy. A mediator is not a judge, and cannot make a ruling or force the parties to do something. The mediator does not decide who is right and who is wrong, but strives to help both parties settle the case. To help the parties speak freely without the fear of their statements being told to the Judge, statements made in mediation are confidential, (confessions about the abuse of children are an exception ). A mediator typically does three things:
1. The mediator talks to both sides to find out what the facts of the dispute are. He asks each party if they have made a good faith commitment to attempt to settle the case. The mediator makes a list of what needs to be settled. He spends about the same time with each side.
2. Then the mediator, being more aggressive, goes back to each party, to ask, "What is the real deal here? What is really going on?" The mediator gets to the bottom line, to get the really important facts that are bothering the parties.
3. Then the mediator begins to go between the parties, not simply as a wimpy messenger, but offering alternatives, pushing, pulling, and closing the deal. Everyone should walk away with a copy of the signed settlement agreement; the case is over except for the typing.
As a part of the process, he may remind everyone that a trial will cost another $5,000, in advance, and they are out of money.
He may tell everyone that they are the last people who actually love the children, who can make the rules. A complete stranger, the Judge, will make all the rules at trial.
He may share how the Judge looked at a particular problem in the past. How does the Judge view an alcohol problem? or a drug problem? or smoking? or tattoos on children? or body piercings on children? or overnight guests for the adults?
As a lawyer himself, a mediator may point out the difficulties with your case. The mediator is not the Judge, but he does have his eyes open and can see the same weaknesses in the case that the Judge may see.
The mediator has all parties sign the written agreement. If things go well, the legal matters are settled, and perhaps the problems beyond the legal matters, are settled.
1. The mediator talks to both sides to find out what the facts of the dispute are. He asks each party if they have made a good faith commitment to attempt to settle the case. The mediator makes a list of what needs to be settled. He spends about the same time with each side.
2. Then the mediator, being more aggressive, goes back to each party, to ask, "What is the real deal here? What is really going on?" The mediator gets to the bottom line, to get the really important facts that are bothering the parties.
3. Then the mediator begins to go between the parties, not simply as a wimpy messenger, but offering alternatives, pushing, pulling, and closing the deal. Everyone should walk away with a copy of the signed settlement agreement; the case is over except for the typing.
As a part of the process, he may remind everyone that a trial will cost another $5,000, in advance, and they are out of money.
He may tell everyone that they are the last people who actually love the children, who can make the rules. A complete stranger, the Judge, will make all the rules at trial.
He may share how the Judge looked at a particular problem in the past. How does the Judge view an alcohol problem? or a drug problem? or smoking? or tattoos on children? or body piercings on children? or overnight guests for the adults?
As a lawyer himself, a mediator may point out the difficulties with your case. The mediator is not the Judge, but he does have his eyes open and can see the same weaknesses in the case that the Judge may see.
The mediator has all parties sign the written agreement. If things go well, the legal matters are settled, and perhaps the problems beyond the legal matters, are settled.
Thursday, August 30, 2007
When should I ask for custody of my children?
When should I ask for custody of my children?
You ask for custody of your children when 1. they are in physical danger, or 2. they are in emotional danger. Real danger, living in a crack house danger, living with a drug addict danger, living with a convicted pedophile danger; not "she was mean to me and made me leave" danger. The rules of visitation in Texas are so close to a 50/50 deal, that a lawyer should ask you why you are willing to make life-long scars on the children by starting a custody fight. Just because your spouse does not like you, or is not faithful, or you are angry, should not qualify as a reason to leave scars on your children's emotional health.
Some examples may be helpful:
1. my spouse uses meth, cocaine, or other illicit drugs - Yes.
2. my spouse is a practicing alcoholic - Yes.
3. my spouse hits me, kicks me, and is call-the-police-again abusive - Yes.
4. my spouse earns a living as a criminal - Yes.
5. my spouse is crazy (in the sense that he or she has a verifiable mental illness or verifiable personality disorder to the extent he or she is not up to the stress of rearing children); if this condition is as bad as you tell your lawyer, then custody is usually settled without a fight - Yes.
6. my spouse is crazy (everyone goes temporarily insane under the stress of a divorce case, my spouse is crazy to leave me, my spouse is not faithful, my spouse makes me really angry, my spouse has many personal faults) - No.
7. the school grades for my children are terrible - Investigate more, school grades are a good indicator of what is happening at home. More evidence is needed, but something is cooking and it is not good for the child.
8. the child is older and simply wants to live with daddy or mommy for a while - give this time to make sure the child doesn't simply say this to you and your spouse to make each of you happy. Give this time, and then take action, slowly.
Going through a divorce leaves life long scars on adults. Children are not adults, and did not go on a date with, nor marry any person involved in your divorce. Go easy with your children. This divorce should not be their deal.
Many a psychologist will tell you that it is better for the children to live with the less qualified parent, if the better parent exercises visitation and makes an effort to have a positive influence on their children. You might begin this process by making an appointment with a child psychologist, pay the fee, and talk about your children. You want to be the better parent, don't you? You want what's best for your children, don't you? Then why not start with a conference with an expert in what's best for children? It will make you a better parent, will help your children, and provide focus and evidence for your lawyer.
You ask for custody of your children when 1. they are in physical danger, or 2. they are in emotional danger. Real danger, living in a crack house danger, living with a drug addict danger, living with a convicted pedophile danger; not "she was mean to me and made me leave" danger. The rules of visitation in Texas are so close to a 50/50 deal, that a lawyer should ask you why you are willing to make life-long scars on the children by starting a custody fight. Just because your spouse does not like you, or is not faithful, or you are angry, should not qualify as a reason to leave scars on your children's emotional health.
Some examples may be helpful:
1. my spouse uses meth, cocaine, or other illicit drugs - Yes.
2. my spouse is a practicing alcoholic - Yes.
3. my spouse hits me, kicks me, and is call-the-police-again abusive - Yes.
4. my spouse earns a living as a criminal - Yes.
5. my spouse is crazy (in the sense that he or she has a verifiable mental illness or verifiable personality disorder to the extent he or she is not up to the stress of rearing children); if this condition is as bad as you tell your lawyer, then custody is usually settled without a fight - Yes.
6. my spouse is crazy (everyone goes temporarily insane under the stress of a divorce case, my spouse is crazy to leave me, my spouse is not faithful, my spouse makes me really angry, my spouse has many personal faults) - No.
7. the school grades for my children are terrible - Investigate more, school grades are a good indicator of what is happening at home. More evidence is needed, but something is cooking and it is not good for the child.
8. the child is older and simply wants to live with daddy or mommy for a while - give this time to make sure the child doesn't simply say this to you and your spouse to make each of you happy. Give this time, and then take action, slowly.
Going through a divorce leaves life long scars on adults. Children are not adults, and did not go on a date with, nor marry any person involved in your divorce. Go easy with your children. This divorce should not be their deal.
Many a psychologist will tell you that it is better for the children to live with the less qualified parent, if the better parent exercises visitation and makes an effort to have a positive influence on their children. You might begin this process by making an appointment with a child psychologist, pay the fee, and talk about your children. You want to be the better parent, don't you? You want what's best for your children, don't you? Then why not start with a conference with an expert in what's best for children? It will make you a better parent, will help your children, and provide focus and evidence for your lawyer.
Wednesday, August 29, 2007
What do I need to know when I go in a courtroom?
What do I need to know when I go into a courtroom?
1. The Judge is in charge. You obey the Judge.
2. Your lawyer will speak for you to the Judge. He speaks, asks questions, objects, argues, shouts, and prays on your behalf.
3. You speak when you are asked questions by your lawyer, the other lawyer, or the Judge. You speak when questioned, you stop when you answered the question or you hear someone say, "Objection".
4. You will tell your story in question and answer form. In other words, your lawyer (or the Judge) asks questions, and you give answers. The plan is for you to tell your story by telling facts and answering the questions.
5. Tell the facts and not opinions. This means the Judge does not want to hear that you think your spouse is a lousy parent; the Judge wants to hear that on July 1st, your spouse was drunk, hit you, and knocked you down in front of the children. The Judge will then decide, based on these facts, whether your spouse is a good parent.
6. You answer a question and then stop talking, you do not try to convince the other side you are right. Your spouse's lawyer is being paid a lot of money and will never believe you are right (until the money runs out).
7. After being sworn in as a witness, you do not talk to other witnesses about the facts or the case or anything related about the case. This may disqualify your testimony, prevent others from testifying, and kill your case. Talk about Dallas Cowboy football or something else.
8. Above all else, keep your cool. Don't let them see you sweat, look discouraged, or look apologetic. The facts, just the facts, and let the Judge make his ruling.
http://www.georgeconnerlaw.com/
connerlaw@yahoo.com
1. The Judge is in charge. You obey the Judge.
2. Your lawyer will speak for you to the Judge. He speaks, asks questions, objects, argues, shouts, and prays on your behalf.
3. You speak when you are asked questions by your lawyer, the other lawyer, or the Judge. You speak when questioned, you stop when you answered the question or you hear someone say, "Objection".
4. You will tell your story in question and answer form. In other words, your lawyer (or the Judge) asks questions, and you give answers. The plan is for you to tell your story by telling facts and answering the questions.
5. Tell the facts and not opinions. This means the Judge does not want to hear that you think your spouse is a lousy parent; the Judge wants to hear that on July 1st, your spouse was drunk, hit you, and knocked you down in front of the children. The Judge will then decide, based on these facts, whether your spouse is a good parent.
6. You answer a question and then stop talking, you do not try to convince the other side you are right. Your spouse's lawyer is being paid a lot of money and will never believe you are right (until the money runs out).
7. After being sworn in as a witness, you do not talk to other witnesses about the facts or the case or anything related about the case. This may disqualify your testimony, prevent others from testifying, and kill your case. Talk about Dallas Cowboy football or something else.
8. Above all else, keep your cool. Don't let them see you sweat, look discouraged, or look apologetic. The facts, just the facts, and let the Judge make his ruling.
http://www.georgeconnerlaw.com/
connerlaw@yahoo.com
Friday, July 13, 2007
How can communication work after the divorce?
How can communication work after the divorce?If the parties can overcome the anger and frustration, and work for the children, then there are some good options.
1. Set up a second telephone line (or a second ringer) at the children's residence.
2. Set up email accounts for the children.
3. Use a small diary, with a lock, to send back and forth, as the child goes for visitations. The child may never see the inside of the diary, but messages about medicines, school activities, doctor appointments, baseball schedules, and other important messages can go back and forth.
4. Send birthday cards. Mark your calendar. Keep a copy of the card.
5. Send Valentine's Day cards. Mark your calendar. Keep a copy of the card.
6. Send Christmas cards. Keep a copy of the card.
7. Train yourself to call the other party ahead of all visitation periods, and to call at the slightest hint that there may be a delay or a problem. Common courtisies not only help ease tensions, but also may help prevent going back to court.
8. Call the children's school counselors, get to know them, find out what is going on with the children at school.
9. Never say anything that you do not want repeated on open court for the Judge. You are not doing this to win arguments with someone that may not be very likeable, you are doing this for a small child who needs you. Your child does not need bitterness, your child needs the better nature of your angels.
10. Use the 2 hour weekly visitation with your children to grab some pizza and find out how they are doing.This will take some work, will take dealing with someone who may not be very likeable, and you may take more than your share of guff. You are doing this for children you need you and love you. The more communication, the faster your wounds will heal, and the better for your children.
George Conner
web page: www.georgeconnerlaw.com
email: connerlaw@yahoo.com
1. Set up a second telephone line (or a second ringer) at the children's residence.
2. Set up email accounts for the children.
3. Use a small diary, with a lock, to send back and forth, as the child goes for visitations. The child may never see the inside of the diary, but messages about medicines, school activities, doctor appointments, baseball schedules, and other important messages can go back and forth.
4. Send birthday cards. Mark your calendar. Keep a copy of the card.
5. Send Valentine's Day cards. Mark your calendar. Keep a copy of the card.
6. Send Christmas cards. Keep a copy of the card.
7. Train yourself to call the other party ahead of all visitation periods, and to call at the slightest hint that there may be a delay or a problem. Common courtisies not only help ease tensions, but also may help prevent going back to court.
8. Call the children's school counselors, get to know them, find out what is going on with the children at school.
9. Never say anything that you do not want repeated on open court for the Judge. You are not doing this to win arguments with someone that may not be very likeable, you are doing this for a small child who needs you. Your child does not need bitterness, your child needs the better nature of your angels.
10. Use the 2 hour weekly visitation with your children to grab some pizza and find out how they are doing.This will take some work, will take dealing with someone who may not be very likeable, and you may take more than your share of guff. You are doing this for children you need you and love you. The more communication, the faster your wounds will heal, and the better for your children.
George Conner
web page: www.georgeconnerlaw.com
email: connerlaw@yahoo.com
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