When should I ask for custody of my children?

When should I ask for custody of my children?

You ask for custody of your children when 1. they are in physical danger, or 2. they are in emotional danger. Real danger, living in a crack house danger, living with a drug addict danger, living with a convicted pedophile danger; not "she was mean to me and made me leave" danger. The rules of visitation in Texas are so close to a 50/50 deal, that a lawyer should ask you why you are willing to make life-long scars on the children by starting a custody fight. Just because your spouse does not like you, or is not faithful, or you are angry, should not qualify as a reason to leave scars on your children's emotional health.

Some examples may be helpful:

1. my spouse uses meth, cocaine, or other illicit drugs - Yes.

2. my spouse is a practicing alcoholic - Yes.

3. my spouse hits me, kicks me, and is call-the-police-again abusive - Yes.

4. my spouse earns a living as a criminal - Yes.

5. my spouse is crazy (in the sense that he or she has a verifiable mental illness or verifiable personality disorder to the extent he or she is not up to the stress of rearing children); if this condition is as bad as you tell your lawyer, then custody is usually settled without a fight - Yes.

6. my spouse is crazy (everyone goes temporarily insane under the stress of a divorce case, my spouse is crazy to leave me, my spouse is not faithful, my spouse makes me really angry, my spouse has many personal faults) - No.

7. the school grades for my children are terrible - Investigate more, school grades are a good indicator of what is happening at home. More evidence is needed, but something is cooking and it is not good for the child.

8. the child is older and simply wants to live with daddy or mommy for a while - give this time to make sure the child doesn't simply say this to you and your spouse to make each of you happy. Give this time, and then take action, slowly.

Going through a divorce leaves life long scars on adults. Children are not adults, and did not go on a date with, nor marry any person involved in your divorce. Go easy with your children. This divorce should not be their deal.

Many a psychologist will tell you that it is better for the children to live with the less qualified parent, if the better parent exercises visitation and makes an effort to have a positive influence on their children. You might begin this process by making an appointment with a child psychologist, pay the fee, and talk about your children. You want to be the better parent, don't you? You want what's best for your children, don't you? Then why not start with a conference with an expert in what's best for children? It will make you a better parent, will help your children, and provide focus and evidence for your lawyer.

What do I need to know when I go in a courtroom?

What do I need to know when I go into a courtroom?

1. The Judge is in charge. You obey the Judge.

2. Your lawyer will speak for you to the Judge. He speaks, asks questions, objects, argues, shouts, and prays on your behalf.

3. You speak when you are asked questions by your lawyer, the other lawyer, or the Judge. You speak when questioned, you stop when you answered the question or you hear someone say, "Objection".

4. You will tell your story in question and answer form. In other words, your lawyer (or the Judge) asks questions, and you give answers. The plan is for you to tell your story by telling facts and answering the questions.

5. Tell the facts and not opinions. This means the Judge does not want to hear that you think your spouse is a lousy parent; the Judge wants to hear that on July 1st, your spouse was drunk, hit you, and knocked you down in front of the children. The Judge will then decide, based on these facts, whether your spouse is a good parent.

6. You answer a question and then stop talking, you do not try to convince the other side you are right. Your spouse's lawyer is being paid a lot of money and will never believe you are right (until the money runs out).

7. After being sworn in as a witness, you do not talk to other witnesses about the facts or the case or anything related about the case. This may disqualify your testimony, prevent others from testifying, and kill your case. Talk about Dallas Cowboy football or something else.

8. Above all else, keep your cool. Don't let them see you sweat, look discouraged, or look apologetic. The facts, just the facts, and let the Judge make his ruling.

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